Little Ed Riding Hood and The Big Scarry Ishvalan
by Just Leah
Summary: I think you can figure out what this is going to be about. Total crack! And no, 'scarry' is not a typo. Read and it will make sense.


**A/N: Yeah . . . random idea I got from talking to Mizuri-chan. I hope you like it! It made me laugh.  
Disclaimer: You all know I own nothing . . . **

Once upon a time, Little Ed Riding Hood was going to his Grandmother's house. He had broken his automail again, and his Grandmother Pinako was the only one who could fix it because Winry was feeling under the weather. Ed had brought a basket of cookies for his grandmother because his brother Al thought it would be a good idea.

As he was walking down the road, a man suddenly jumped out of the bush. Ed glared at him.

"What the heck do you want?" He said to the man.

"I am the Big Scarry Ishvalan! Fear me!" The man said.

"Don't you mean 'scary?'" Ed asked, annoyed at this little detour.

"No. I meant scarry. As in I have a scar." He pointed to his head where there was an X-shaped scar.

"Right," Ed said. "Well I'll just be moving on then."

"But . . . I . . ." the Ishvalan stuttered as Ed walked past him. "You're Little Ed Riding Hood aren't you? I am supposed to eat you or something!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL HE WOULDN'T EVEN QUALIFY AS AN APPETIZER IF YOU ATE HIM?" And with that, Ed started running after the Ishvalan. But the Ishvalan got away.

"Oh, well," Ed sighed. "I need to get the Grandma's house." So he set off again.

Meanwhile, the Big Scarry Ishvalan had found a shortcut to Ed's grandmother's house and he hatched a plan.

"I'll get Little Ed Riding Hood yet!" He said as he came up to the house.

When he knocked on the door, a small, elderly woman answered.

"Welcome to Rockbell Automail services. Can I help you?"

"Yes, I would like you to take a look at my arm, please."

"Alright, come on in."

But when he got in, he picked up the woman and stuffed her in the hall closet, ignoring her protests.

After he locked the door he looked down at the floor to see that her glasses were on the floor. He picked them up and put them on. He went over to the couch and picked up a blanket and sat on the couch with the blanket.

A few minutes later there was a knock on the door.

"Come in!" the Ishvalan called. The door opened and in walked Little Ed Riding Hood. He looked at the Ishvalan with a confused expression. The Ishvalan was afraid he would be recognized. "What is it?"

"Are you sick too, Grandma?" Ed set his basket on the table, looking annoyed. "Why is everyone getting sick? Can't you people just stay healthy?"

"Uh," the Ishvalan coughed, "It's just a little head cold."

"Whatever. Can you still fix my automail?"

"Of course!" The Ishvalan was trying to stay in-character.

"Hey Grandma, I never noticed this, but your eyes are red. Why is that?"

"All the better to see you with!" He smiled nervously.

"And what happened to your face? You didn't have that huge scar before."

"I was working on a new model of automail. It blew up in my face." He reached up and scratched his head.

"Whoa! Have you been working out Grandma? You arm is huge!"

"Um, all the better to repair your automail with, Ed."

"Wait," Ed suddenly glared at the Ishvalan. "You aren't my grandmother. She never calls me anything except Edward." He reached over and pulled off the stolen glasses. "OH MY GOSH! IT CAN'T BE!"

"You caught me!" The Ishvalan yelled. "It is I! The Big Scarry Ishvalan!"

Ed clapped his hands together and transmuted a huge fist out of the floor, which the Ishvalan dodged. "Where is my grandmother?" Ed yelled, clapping his hands again.

As they fought, the local lumberjack happened to be walking outside. He heard the commotion and went to help.

He burst into the room with his ax. "BEHOLD, THE ART OF THE LUMBERJACK THAT HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN THE ARMSTRONG LINE FOR GENERATIONS!" An explosion of sparkles accompanied him.

Upon seeing the lumberjack, the Ishvalan was afraid of catching the sparkle disease, so he ran away.

Soon Little Ed Riding Hood and the lumberjack found Pinako in the closet and they gave her back her glasses.

"That was annoying," Ed pointed out.

"But, alas!" The lumberjack said, sparkling. "Had I not shown up when I did, you, my dear boy, would be dead!"

"But you didn't even do anything!" Ed yelled.

"Goodbye for now!" The lumberjack sang as he left, leaving many sparkles behind.

And Little Ed Riding Hood had his automail fixed and never saw the Big Scarry Ishvalan again.

The End

**Well, that was fun. Please review! It will make me happy!**


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